I run for...strength.

Today's run - 11.1 miles, 2:00:45

Stubbornness? Endurance? Determination? Guts? I call it strength. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I've had my fair share of disappointments, failures, and life lessons. In my times of trial, one thing I always wished for and prayed for was strength because deep down I always kind of felt like a coward. You know the old fight or flight response? Well…I would always flee. Every single time. Fighting through the pain, the guilt and the shame was too scary.

But I discovered something amazing when I started running. I realized that I am strong BECAUSE of the hard times. I made it through. Even through the darkest of my days I am still here to tell the tale. That makes me strong. And it was running that opened my eyes to this.

One of the biggest surprises during my first training experience for my first marathon was how much mental strength it required. The physical strength was understood but I had no idea how much my mind would come into play. There were days struggling to just get out the door where it took all of my mental finesse to convince myself that it would all be worth it in the end. There were times out on the road when I felt tired, weak, achy, miserable, etc. and it took my mental prowess to convince myself "I can do this", "Just a little further", "You just have to go". But my go-to affirmation while I'm out on the road is this…"I am strong". I am stronger than that little voice inside my head. My legs are strong. My heart is strong. My lungs are strong. I am strong enough to run this hill. I am strong enough to make it a mile further.

And those mental triumphs on the road translate to my life, time and time again. My life is far from perfect now. I still have difficult times because well, that's life. The difference, however, is that I fight. Running has given me the confidence I need to get through anything. Running makes me believe that anything is possible. Most importantly I realize that I am strong.